Don't judge me!

This seems to be a popular saying nowadays.

Some even use the Bible to justify it. "Judge not" the first part of Mat 7:1. But fail to read on "...,that you be not judged. For with the judgement you pronounce you will be judged, and the measure you use will be measured to you." Mat 7:1-2 then it goes on with the speck and the log in the eye... 

This verse is a warning to not be hypocritical in your judgment of others. If you are going to point out error in someone's life, you must be sure that no error is present in yours. 

However, you can exercise judgment about someone else's life. As a matter of fact, it is a command. John 7:24 "Do not judge by appearance, but judge with right judgement." To do so, we must have pure motives, Christ himself says "I can do nothing on my own. As I hear, I judge, and my judgment is just, because I seek not my own will, but the will of him who sent me". John 5:30

Our lives will be judged against God's word in the end. In John 12:47 Christ says: "The one who rejects me and does not receive my words has a judge, the word that I have spoken will judge him on the last day."

But judging is a tricky thing. We must have the right motive: to bring a person's life in line with God's will as expressed in His word. But we must also have developed a relationship with said person, so that our words will be received. We have to earn the right to speak to others about their life and loved them enough that they know our intentions are good, and we do not wish to cause them pain or heartache. 

James warns us about judging others: "There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?" James 4:12

It is so easy for judgment to be taken the wrong way. For the one who judges to appear as wanting to be self-righteous. And, we must admit, it is hard to truly know a person's heart and motives. Only God knows us that well, and so He is the one that is in the best position to judge us. 

But if you are going to judge someone, be sure your motives are pure, that you have developed a relationship with them that allows you to criticize them and that your own life is as Christ would have it to be. If you do not meet those criteria, it might be best you keep your thoughts to yourself. 

What you want most

"The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what you want most for what you want now." - Zig Ziglar

This quote rings so true in my life. It is so challenging to keep focused on what we want most instead of what we want now. This, of course, is because usually what you want most requires patience and discipline. Unless what you want most is what you want now and then you just end up spending your entire life hopping from one desire to the next, never really getting full and never really accomplishing anything of worth. Unhappy and feeling like a failure.

For example, if you want to lose 20lbs, your goal is to sacrifice what you want now -insert any food temptation here- to accomplish your weight loss goal - what you want most. It's easy enough for a day or two, or a week or two, but long term, it takes a lot of determination. 

Often times this is played out in a battle of the flesh vs. the spirit. The flesh, our carnal self, wants our desires to be fulfilled now. And those desires can be vast and varied. Paul talks about this in his letter to the Romans. He starts out in Romans 7:14-15 (ESV) with this statement: "For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold under sin. For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate." Doing or executing  what we want most is hard, and we end up doing what we hate (what we want now) instead. How many of us have loathed themselves after giving in to temptation when we swore we would hold fast? He continues with this: "Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out." Rom 7:16-18 To continue our illustration, when we give in to the flesh and do what we did not want to do (give in), we confirm that our primary goal of what we want most is good and worthy, otherwise we would not be upset at ourselves for giving in to temptation. And so we recognize what temptation is, and what sin is, and that the flesh is subject to it. If we rely only on the flesh, we cannot accomplish it. The flesh will always lead us to satisfy our most immediate desire. "For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand." Rom 7:19-21 Isn't it true that as soon as we tell ourselves we will stay away from behavior or thing X, whatever it is that we are trying to avoid seems to be staring us in the face every  time we turn around. Satan tempts us with things that he know will lure us away. And we know this. And we know what is good. "For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin." Rom 7:22-25

The key to be able to fight this battle of spirit vs. flesh is actually quite simple. The goal we want most has to be bigger than ourselves. It has to be something that inspires us, something that we can hope for. It has to be something spiritual, a higher calling. I love the way Paul says it in his letter to the Philippians: "Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus." Phil 3:13-14 Keep your eye on the spiritual prize and press on!

The goal is worth it. And the bonus is that as you set for what you want most, you can inspire others to strive for it too. Make that goal a spiritual one, with Heaven as the ultimate reward. "Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God." Heb 12:1-2

Loss

Today my heart is heavy for my young friend Tori. Earlier, in the wee hours of the morning, the sun set on her daddy's life. He had been battling an autoimmune disorder, and the Methotrexate they gave him weakened his immune system to nothing and he contracted an opportunistic infection called PCP. This is a type of fungal pneumonia that usually kills people with no immune system. He had been unconscious for some time and had been on life support. Tori has been a trooper. She has been at his side this entire time. She has been faithful to the Lord, lifting her daddy up in prayer daily, and probably even hourly in these last weeks. Hoping every day that God would heal him and that it would all turn around. But the damage to his body was already so severe that God thought it best to shorten his suffering and call him home.

It is so hard to understand why some must loose so much at such a young age. See, young Tori had already lost her mom when she was but 4 years old. Some would ask why God would not send a miracle to heal him. And the answer is simple. The time of miracles ended at the end of the first century, when the revelation that is now the New Testament was complete. The purpose of the miracles was to confirm the word of God. (1Cor 13:10) But God still works in our lives, through his providence. He uses people and opportunities, and circumstances to care for us, without the suspension of any natural laws. He put the world in order and laws do govern it. And He is a just God and no respector of persons, which is a fancy way of saying that he does not play favorites. If he started suspending natural laws here and there for folks, he would have to do it for everyone and our natural laws would no longer be predictable.

In his infinite wisdom He called Chris back home. And I know that even though Tori will now have to enter her adult life without her parents, God will send her friends, spiritual brothers and sisters, and "adopted moms and dads" to help fill the gap. Of course, no one could ever take the place of her mommy and daddy, but we can certainly love her and encourage her and be there for her. This is one of the roles of the church. We are a spiritual family and we love and support each other as much, if not more, than a blood family. In a way, we are a blood family. We all have been bought by the blood of Christ.

Tori, God is there with you every step of the way. Trust Him even when you can't seem to understand his purpose. "Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths." Prov 3:5-6 

Love, Hate, Apathy and ... Greek?

agapaō or agapē

What does that mean?
Well, it means Love (in Greek). As in love with a capital L. The kind of love that puts the well being of others before your own. The kind of love that gets a parent up at 1am to feed their crying baby. (Because although the crying is annoying, what really gets us out of bed is that we know what the crying means and we tend to it out of love for that tiny helpless human being.) The kind of love husbands and wives are to have for one another and the kind of love that Christ has for his church. It is the self-sacrificial love that Christ expects out of us, and also the love that allowed Him to bear the cross.

It is interesting to note that almost every time it is mentioned in scripture as a command or an attribute of God or Christ, agape or agapao is the translation of the "love" used. For example:

• Mat 22:37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. (and Mar 12:30 And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.)
• Joh 13:34-35 A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.
• Joh 14:15 If ye love me, keep my commandments.
• Joh 15:13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

As you can tell, it is a central idea to God's teaching. It not only governs our relationship with Him but also with others, as depicted in Mat 5:43-48 "Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same? And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so? Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect."

And it is hard to do. How do you love someone that you, in fact, hate or despise? What about someone that has harmed you in some way? Well, for starters, this kind of love doesn't necessarily involve warm fuzzy feelings. Now that we got that out of the way, what does it involve? Well, it involves putting their soul's well being before your own comfort or your own preferences. This can mean many things, including refusing to give them money if you know they will spend it on drugs or alcohol (or other things you know will harm them) or lovingly confronting them about a sin in their life that is keeping them from an assurance of Heaven. It does involve you having certain boundaries in place and it does not mean that you are a doormat. Sometimes loving them may mean being a good example to them, not holding a grudge, or being willing to forgive offenses. When in doubt, ask yourself, what can I do or say that will influence them for Christ? What will affect their eternal destiny in a positive manner?

phileō

From the Greek also, it means to be a friend to (fond of [an individual or an object]), that is, have affection for (denoting personal attachment, as a matter of sentiment or feeling; while agape love is wider, embracing especially the judgment and the deliberate assent of the will as a matter of principle, duty and propriety: the two thus stand related very much as ethelō (wish, prefer, be inclined to) and boulomai (to intend), or as thumos (passion, wrath, indignation) and nous (intellect, mind, will) respectively; the former being chiefly of the heart and the latter of the head); specifically to kiss (as a mark of tenderness): - kiss, love.

So there is a difference between these two kinds of love. Phileo love is more often described as brotherly love but it can also be thought of as love for an object or activity (like your favorite book, pillow, TV show or sport). It is the word used (translated as love) in these following verses:

• Mat 6:5 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
• Mat 23:6 And love the uppermost rooms at feasts, and the chief seats in the synagogues,
• Luk 20:46 Beware of the scribes, which desire to walk in long robes, and love greetings in the markets, and the highest seats in the synagogues, and the chief rooms at feasts;
• Joh 15:19 If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.
• Rom 12:10 Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;

And I bring this up because we are to love God and one another with agape love above all. And, as brothers and sisters in Christ, we can (and should) be friends as Rom 12:10 commands. But our higher calling is agape love. Christ brings this point out as recorded in John 21:

Joh 21:15 - 17 When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of John, do you love (agape) me more than these?" He said to him, "Yes, Lord; you know that I love (phileo) you." He said to him, "Feed my lambs." He said to him a second time, "Simon, son of John, do you love (agape) me?" He said to him, "Yes, Lord; you know that I love (phileo) you." He said to him, "Tend my sheep."
He said to him the third time, "Simon, son of John, do you love (phileo) me?" Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, "Do you love (phileo) me?" and he said to him, "Lord, you know everything; you know that I love (phileo) you." Jesus said to him, "Feed my sheep".

Not to pick on Peter, but this conversation is very revealing of the difference on how we view love and how God views it.

What about that passage where we are told to hate? Isn't hate the opposite of love? Well, no. Apathy is. But we will get to that in a minute.
The passage is this:
Luk 14:26    "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple."
The Greek word used for hate is miseō which does mean "to despise" but can also mean "to love less". So, no, God is not contradicting Himself, He is just giving you a priority list: He is first, everything else comes after Him, including your loved ones and your own life.

And so, what about apathy? We all think of hate as the opposite of love, but apathy is the opposite of love. Because to hate, you have to still care enough to give that person some of your time and energy. With apathy, you won't even dare to lift a finger, or say a word. Apathy is dangerous because it numbs you. Apathy is a shield that some that have been hurt will hide behind. And the danger in apathy is that you don't get to pick what you get numbed to. And so, in choosing apathy to avoid pain, you also forgo love and joy. Apathy keeps you locked in your little world, not daring to set out and affect the life of others. But by locking them out of your world, you are also locking yourself out of theirs. And you might say "well isn't that the point : avoiding others to avoid the possibility of pain". To that I will say that by taking that route you are also avoiding the possibility of love, friendship, joy and peace. Don't take that route.


P.S.; For more on love and its counterfeit, lust, you can read my previous post. This one is long enough as it is.

of love and lust

Have you ever wondered why there are so many divorces in America? and I would say in Europe too, but many there have just quit marrying and are just cohabiting. Their relationships aren't any better though. Their land is just as filled with lonely empty people as ours. Lonely people that are married and lonely people that are not. And yes, you can be married and be lonely.
I think it is because in a lot of ways our culture is very similar in what it sells us. Our modern day, tech-savvy, civilized culture peddles lust like it's a commodity. And why not, lust is very good at selling. It whispers in your ear that you deserve IT, that you should really want IT, that everyone else has IT and so why not you. Why should you be left out in the cold without IT?
But lust is tricky and sneaky. Lust draws that line in the sand and says "Comer over here and get IT and you will be happy." And you answer the call. How lucky can you be, happiness was just right there and all you have to do is step over and grab it. But then lust moves the line on you. Your are standing on what you thought was the happiness line but now you see it over there. Like chasing the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Lust moved the line.And it's a little further down this slope. And you can't really see where it leads. But the road looks easy and broad and well traveled. Its downward slope is so easy to travel, hardly no effort is required. But lust is deceitful. What it will not tell you is that the road leads to a dark valley where happiness and joy cannot be found.
God in his infinite wisdom warns us about lust, it is not good for us, it is not from Him. (1Jn 2:16  For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.)  Lust is mentioned specifically 67 times in the KJV but implied way more times than that. It is one of the first emotions that Satan appeals to when he is talking to Eve in the garden of Eden. First he lies to her (Ye shall not surely die - Gen 3:4), then appeals to her pride (God just don't want you to know all He knows, He wants to keep you in the dark because you are a competition threat - Gen 3:5) and that is enough to get Eve to look at the fruit in a different manner and lust after it (Gen 3:6). Just like our culture sells us. Diet sodas will make you skinny, sex will make you happy, and going deeper into debt to buy stuff you don't need to impress people you don't like is the way to become wealthy (or at least appear to be). And we buy into it.
Why do we? I think at the root of it all we have mistaken lust for love. And it is easy to do. Lust is actually the counterfeit of love. It's a look-alike, it just doesn't have the value of love. It is vain and empty. Like a knock off Coach purse. It looks good from far away but those who know the real thing aren't fooled. And love is hard. It is the road uphill, less traveled. It has rocks on it, it takes effort to go that way. It's a struggle, a battle you have to wage every day. But that road leads up to the mountain top. And as you climb and fight your way on that hard road, you find that love was there all along. Because love is an action verb. Love is not just a warm fuzzy feeling. Love sacrifices, love is patient, love makes you put others before you. There is no envy in love and no bragging (1 Cor 13). Love is what put Christ on the cross (John 3:16).
And so the take away from this short post is that if society is selling you counterfeit love, run in the opposite direction. Dare to take the road less traveled, dare to be weird, dare to not buy into the world's message because it leads to sin and death. "Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death." Jas 1:15 But we are called to be much more than that "And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." Rom 12:2 So tell the world "No thanks, I'll pass" and then live differently. How do you do that? Well, Paul tells us that right in that verse, be transformed. How do you transform yourself? By the renewing of your mind. It reminds me of a quote Dave Ramsey uses a lot, by Charlie Tremedous Jones, and it goes something like this: "In 5 years you will be the same person you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read". You can't always control the people you meet but you can certainly control the books you read. So what are you feeding your mind? May I recommend a best-seller? It has been on the New York Times best seller list so long that they no longer list it since it is a given that it is first ... the Bible. Feed your mind with the word of God and you will grow from it, and with it you will overcome the world. (2Pe 1:4  Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust)

Is it better?

I am writing this blog in an effort to praise God for all that he has done in my life and also in an effort to uplift those around me that are willing to take the time to read it.

Have you ever heard someone say how much better life was in the old days? If only we could go back then... Or that the Bible times were so much better, with all the prophets, and God speaking to man. Understand that I do not want to deny any nostalgic memories to those who go on wishing for the better days, but I have a different view on this.
Here is my premise: man is a flawed sinful being in need of a savior, not matter what age he lives in. Period. It is that simple. Think about it. Adam and Eve were in the Garden of Eden, in the presence of God himself, had very few commands to follow (mainly keep the garden and don't touch that fruit), and yet they still broke the command of God. And that is sin. Breaking the command of God. And it hasn't stopped since. In the patriarchal age God spoke directly to man, addressing the main leader of the families like Abraham and Noah for example. Yet the world became so sinful and man was so evil that it repented God that he had created man (Gen 6:6) And he destroyed the earth with the flood, sparing Noah and his family. Then the earth gets repopulated and in the time of Abraham, God wipes out Sodom and Gomorrah (see Gen 19) because they were so evil.
So maybe it was better for Israel, God's chosen nation. They were lucky enough to be handpicked by God to get all his wisdom and guidance on how to best live on this earth (see Exodus, Deuteronomy and Leviticus). He gave them commands on how to prosper in health, wealth, relationships, and he told them exactly what he expected them to do and give for worship. It was there, in written form for them. He even performed many miracles for them in their deliverance from Egypt and subsequent time in the wilderness. But he kept having to send judges to guide them, because even though they could simply be guided by God himself through his written word, they could not seem to grasp the concept of God being the leader of their nation. They wanted to be like the nations around them and have a "real" king, just like them. And so God gave them kings. And they were still sinful. They worshiped false gods, sacrificed their children to Baal, and generally disregarded God's laws and wisdom. Until, as punishment, they were carried out into captivity and only a remnant of them was left to return to Israel.
However throughout these ancient times there lived faithful men willing to honor God and serve him, from Noah to Moses, and Moses through David, Josiah and Hezekiah, and all the prophets, such as Samuel, Ezekiel and Jeremiah.
And even if we look at the present age (the Christian era, or the last days), the Jews rejected Christ, as most of the world still does, false teachers rose up right away to corrupt the message, and believers were persecuted for following Christ, but there were and are faithful men willing to serve him and live according to God's will. So that is the take-away, really. No matter where you live, no matter what circumstances encompass you, you can chose to be obedient to God. He gave you this wonderful gift of freedom of choice. So each and every one of us has the freedom of deciding to obey his voice, his commands found in his word. Every era, every generation has its evil and its good. There is not one better than the other, from the beginning of time forward, they are just different. And in every era and in every generation there is a remnant of faithful that chose to obey him, even if the world around them is evil and compromised. God is not asking you to wish for better times and better circumstances, he wants you now. He wants you to chose to serve him and trust him. Trust that he knows what is best for you, trust that his commands are not grievous and that they are a blessing to those who chose to follow them, regardless of where you are and when you live.

Integrity: are you incomplete?

Integrity, a concept that has come to my attention lately. 
According to the Miriam-Webster's dictionary it means:

1: firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values : incorruptibility

2: an unimpaired condition : soundness

3: the quality or state of being complete or undivided : completeness

To me, all three of those definitions are closely related, to the point of being interchangeable. Because if you are not complete, you are not sound, and it is impossible to be complete without adhering to a code of values. Let me elaborate...

Let's start with the code. What is your code? What are your standards? Do you have any, or do you change as the situations change? My code is the Bible. I have found it to be a reliable source of wisdom, as it is the word of the God who created us. Just like when you want to know something about your iphone, you would go to Apple, when you want to know more about humans, their relationships and how to live in this life, you go to the creator of mankind.  In all his wisdom he gave us the record of Solomon's search for the meaning of life in Ecclesiastes. After his long search, trying everything under the sun, with nothing held back, he concluded in Ecc 12:13  "Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man." The word duty here was supplied by the translator, but the original text says the "whole of man". The root of the Hebrew word used for whole means complete. Keeping god's commandments will make you complete, whole, sound. 

Why is that? Is not the Bible too restrictive, with all its "shall not"? Can it even be relevant in this modern world? To that I will answer a resounding and absolute "yes!". It can be relevant, because if you really think about it, human nature has not changed that much over all the time that we have been blessed to occupy this earth. And it is not in us to consistently find the right path, as Jeremiah so well declared:in Jer 10:23  'O LORD, I know that the way of man is not in himself: it is not in man that walketh to direct his steps." Jeremiah recognized that we are fallible but God is good and perfect. He loves us so much that he is willing to guide us through this life, all we have to do is to trust him and follow his lead. Pro 3:5-6  "Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." And He can do this because of his divine nature, as Isaiah writes in Isa 55:8-9  "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." 

With that in mind, let's highlight a couple of points. First, the standard that allows you to have integrity is outside of yourself. It is something bigger than you. It calls for noble actions and hard choices, made easier by the undying conviction and knowledge that those actions and choices are right. Period. Second, since the code itself is infallible, since it comes from God, when we fail to have integrity it is because of our own departure from what is right.

We all know we are not perfect. So what makes us deviate from the path that God has set before us? 

• Fear. Fear of the consequences, fear of change, fear of the unknown, fear of getting caught in our sin (sin being the transgression of God's law, or violating the code)
• Anger. Anger is an emotion that, if left unchecked, can override our brain and our best judgement.
• Impulses. Action before thought. This one is one that pits our flesh against our spirit. And if the desire is strong, often our impulses to follow the flesh wins out.
• Temptation. The devil is present in this world and actively seeking to win the souls of those who have chosen to serve God. (1 Pe 5:8) He will try you, be sure of it. And sometimes we make the wrong choices and sin.

This life is not easy, but we can make it easier on us by allowing God to guide us through His Word. Our reward will be that we will be whole. We will have integrity. People will know that we consistently behave in the same right manner and that we can be trusted.

The benefits of integrity are numerous. In a more practical and materialistic way, did you know that the one characteristic that sets billionaires apart from all the others, the characteristic that allowed them to prosper is this: fanatical levels of integrity.

Integrity will also bring peace to your soul. It allows you to have a set way to make decisions that will never fail you. It allows you to be who God made you to be by acting in accordance to the principles that will make your soul whole. 

It also allows you to not be easily influenced by the whims and moods of others. Your decisions are not hinged on the drama that is going on around you, but on a set of principles. It tends to make situations much clearer, and decisions easier to follow through. 

So if you feel incomplete, if you are missing part of your soul, it could be that you are simply missing the instructions that you need to be whole.